Difficult Days

It's been a couple of weeks, I guess.   A sad, difficult couple of weeks.   Lots to handle, contend with, get through.   Saddest of all, my sister, Marie, passed away on April 7, 2012.   Her heart just gave out, after all she has been through in the past couple of years.   She'd had a minor surgery on March 1, came home from the hospital on March 3.  She had been in so much pain, and had heart trouble, so was so tired all the time, but had had a stent put in a few months ago, then the minor surgery to help with the pain, and she was herself again.   Happy, more active, able to do things with her hubby, and family, tho still so tired.    But that last month, she smiled, and laughed, enjoyed her family,  and was more like her old self.   So glad she had that.   But, she passed away suddenly the day before Easter.  We had planned Easter at my house, and she had started getting things ready for what she was bringing, and the family was all coming, including Al's mom, excluding Mary, who is a Jehova Witness.   No way did I think that she would not be here for dinner on Easter Sunday.  
But she wasn't.   That's the hardest part for anyone who loses a loved one.   She'll never be here for dinner again, we can't ever go to lunch together again, we can't ever chat over tea, or go shopping, or talk about what's new, or complain about our hubbies, or just ask, "Whatcha doin?"   I miss her so much.   She was such an important part of why we moved out here, and I will aways be grateful that we had almost exactly ten years (April 11) together, and did so many things together; happy things. 
Also, I fell on the Tuesday after, and wrenched everything from my left knee up to my middle back.   I am bruised and battered, and hurting like hell.   But that will get better.  
Then the same day, Ernie went to his heart dr., and was told that he needs to have a pacemaker, and then one day soon, he needs a heart valve replacement, (open heart surgery, again).  This is all  just too much to take!  But life goes on doesn't it?   Next Tuesday, he will have the pacemaker surgery done, and then we will start talking about the valve replacement.   No time to think on things.   Just get em done.   Can't talk anymore today.   Just get on with it.   Later.   JO  xxoo

Loaded for bear!

I feel like I'm loaded for bear, or wired with a bomb (give me all the money in the safe, or i'll blow this place up!), as I am all wired up with an ambulatory eeg machine.   This is because I had a blackout (again) in the beginning of Feb.   Went to a neurologist, and they are trying to figure out why.    Anyway, end result for now is that I can't drive for at least 90 days from the incident.   I'm the driver in the family, so this is frustrating, as I also love driving, and my hubby doesn't.  But he is doing all the driving now, or Noah drives when we all go somewhere together. 
This happened several years ago also, where I had a couple of blackouts for longer periods of time, (this one in Feb. was only a matter of ten to twenty seconds, but resulted ( i was driving) in my going up onto the curb and blowing a tire).  The blackouts in 2007  also happened when I was driving, and at a party, that I remember very little of.   Frightening, and at the time, I was told I had had a TIA, or some kind of amnesia thing.   Never really got a definite diagnosis on it, tho I saw a neurologist at the time.   Let's hope they can resolve this once and for all, so I can get on with things.    I don't like this at all!!    Later.   JO  xxoo

Get 'er done! Challenge

Well, I guess the next step is to start challenging myself each day.   Will probably work some days and not others, but I gotta work at it.   I'm 67, have steadily gained weight over the years, ( and lost some of it many times, only to gain it back - sound familiar?), but I don't like how I feel, and the grandson  (Noah, who is 20, by the way), has spurred me on to do something about it.   Make it a lifestyle change, right??   Not too late?   No, I don't think it ever is too late, tho I know I'll never feel forty again.  But I can feel better, and that will be my challenge.  
I got thru the Costco day, ($270 later),  and it was tiring, in fact exhausting, but we got stocked up a lot, and I like to know I have what I need in reach without having to run to the store every few days.   And we've been walking every day; in fact, yesterday I walked my bike over to my sister's house (Marie), had her hubby fill the tires for me, and rode it home, and for a nice bike ride at 8:30 last nite.   Noah ran and jogged with me, giving him a better workout too.   We're going to see if we can find him a nice bike at a garage sale, and then we can ride together.  
You know, this is funny.   I used to have a journal that I wrote in for years, but I just stopped doing it somewhere along the way, and I realize I have missed it.   I think it will help me get thru these old age years better, to be able to express myself  (be my own psychotherapist without the fee). 
I've got quiche heating in the oven for breakfast, and a fruit bowl to make, so ....   later.   JO   xxoo

Where do I begin?

I don't like getting old.   Aches and pains, limited activities,  dr. visits being my main social activity, etc., etc.   Not fun!   But we must try to cope with this lifestyle, and get by the best that we can, right?   I do try, but I get tired!  Just kidding!  (for the most part).  But I never thought I would get to where I am, but I guess that's what they all say when they get here.   I guess my favorite age was in my forties, when I was pretty healthy, more energetic, better looking, and feeling pretty great!    We had lots of activities in those days, and I enjoyed life.    Not that I don't enjoy life now, just not as much.  But....... my grandson moved in with us, and he has brought new life to the house.   Music, dancing, exercise, movies, hiking; anything he likes, he tries to get us interested too.   Some things are ok, but like the hiking, and exercise, etc., is kinda tough!   But I am trying.   He took me hiking last week, and we did two miles.   I don't know how I did it, but I did, and I liked it.   First time I have been hiking in years and years.   But I actually loved it.   I love the outdoors, and don't get enough time to spend out there, so it was invigorating.   Of course, I could hardly move for two days afterward, but what the heck!  He doesn't understand aches and pains, (cause of course, he doesn't have any), so he just keeps urging me on to do more.   Now we are walking almost every day, at least around the block.   Which gives him no exercise to speak of, but it helps me.   Today, it's Costco for me and the hubby, so that will be my exercise.   Just hope the grandson doesn't want to go hiking when he gets home from work, cause I won't be up for it.   Costco IS my hike, today.   Mostly, it's carrying everything in when we get home, and putting it away.   But I'll be pooped.  Better go get ready, and get the old man going, too.   Later.  xxoo